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Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Visual Dare: Disobey

This short fiction flash is linked with Anonymous Legacy's Visual Dare . A picture prompt is added every week along with a word prompt. Todays word: Disobey


Maddy's Mystic World #1
Missing Maddy

"I can't believe it's been a month," Maddy's mother Susan said, sobbing uncontrollably. "She was such a good girl. Who would ever want to harm her?"

"I don't know," Maddy's school teacher, Ms. Benavides replied. "but just try to think positively."

Learning that Benavides' daughter went missing years ago, Susan grew deeply connected to her.

Finding some consolation, Susan left shortly before the bell, leaving Benavides alone in her classroom, one of many snow globes from her collection in hand, watching as tiny fists pommeled frantically from within. "Sick horse, huh? You'll never lie to me again, that's for sure."

100 Words (excluding title and continuation line)

15 comments:

  1. Wow, now that's an interesting twist. It's a good thing teachers don't really have that much power.

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    1. There was a teacher I had back in the fifth grade who collected bronze figurines on a shelf. Never asked her about it because I was always very shy back then. But did bring up that memory when writing this story.

      Thanks for reading. =-)

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  2. Oooh. Gruesome.

    Nicely done, but eeeeew.

    JzB

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    1. Yeah my stories have that affect on some people not used to that kind of story. Hope that didn't ruin your reading time though.

      Thanks for dropping by.

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  3. Wicked ending in every sense of the word! Great story!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for dropping by! =-)

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  4. Didn't expect that! Great twist and I'll never look at snowglobes in the same way again!

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    1. Thank you for saying so, the unexpected part.

      Many readers have said on previous stories I have written that they saw what was coming.

      I appreciate the comment, Lisa, and thanks for dropping by.=-)

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  5. Chilling twist on what seems such an innocent prompt!! I can see where your bronze statue memory from 5th grade would have played into this one. Now what I want to know is -- can the little girl get out??

    Great entry!! Thanks again for another Visual Dare gem!!

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Angela! Always looking forward to the Visual Dare challence. Can't wait for the next! :-)

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  6. Oh poor little girl. But there might be some hope in the end... Or?

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  7. Yikes! I always thought there was something a bit creepy about snow globes. Interesting twist.

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    1. It's the first image that came to mind for some reason and then I thought of that teacher I commented earlier with her bronze miniature collection.

      Thanks for the comment! =-)

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